I've not been as consistent as I should be with My camgirl work - this usually happens when I've had a bad consecutive set of days. What's a bad day for a camgirl? When you sit on cam, fully dolled up, horny, excited about life (whatevs) and 3 hours later…you've made a grand total of $1.75 or something equally ridiculous. I used to think this was exclusive to Me, to BBWs, to Dommes…but even some of the most popular mainstream camgirls go through this. There are a slew of things that can be attributed to downturns, but the bottom line is: you just gotta keep camming! So while I'm camming right now, I've come up with a short list of things that happen to us camgirls as a result of the work we do…
1. Sex for free often becomes really unappealing. Not because we're money-hungry whores (nothing wrong with that, though), but because we see the worst of men (and women) on a daily basis…it's difficult to get excited for anything less than fiscal compensation.
2. We go through WAY more weed/cigarettes and bottles of wine/beer/scotch/whatevs than we realize or plan to. The guys that come to see us aren't often loquacious or interesting, so we're left with blocks of time to fill and amuse ourselves. I don't think this is indicative of chemical dependence per se, but if we're not sucking dicks or fucking our pussies, our mouths and hands are prone to boredom.
4. Going to the store is like going to Mordor - it requires a lot of preparation because there can very well be perils amiss. It's not that we aren't proud of what we do for a living, but it's that a lot of guys don't realize that we have lives that are pretty regular when the cam is off. I'm sure I'm not nearly as interesting in baggy jeans & a Walking Dead hoodie, standing in the noodle aisle, deciding which flavour of ramen to treat Myself to…can I shop in peace, ffs? We're better than movie stars because you actually get yours (once you pay)…when was the last time you saw Angelina Jolie fucking her wet cunt on demand? Yea that's right…never.
5. Camgirls often end up living lives of hermitage. Remember when Bon Iver was up in the woods recording that album in his cabin? Yes. That's our retirement plan. Some of us are lucky enough to find love, have supportive friends and families, we even end up throwing dinner parties…but this is not the norm. When you spend day after day, month after month, year after year in front of the camera, your in-person interaction skills become dysfunctional. It's difficult to make small talk and so many of us just opt out of it all together…preferring to talk to our dildos and reminding ourselves to renew our Netflix subscriptions…
Life is good. Then it isn't. Then it's good again. That's life.
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While these things may be true for you, they aren't true for everyone. Men are pigs, that is true. I guess I'm lucky that I surround myself with decent guys who also know what I go through. Good sex never gets unappealing because it is never free. NOTHING comes for free and everything has a price. In terms of the weed,cigs, and booze, that's not me either. I crochet and knit in free chat and keep the cam zoomed in on my face. However, since getting my own website I have been sitting on camsites even less. This article reminds me that i need to churn out part 2 of my first article. Best way to keep your personal interaction skills up is to go indie and force yourself to be around others. That's why college is such a blessing I am a hermit anyway, but because i love learning I am forced to come out of my shell.I'm always picky about who I talk to and camming is no different. I'm sorry if this comes across as snarky, but there's a hasty generalization being made that doesn't hold true for everyone.
The part about "living a hermit life" is really applicable to me. Part of the reason taht i started this job is because i'm TERRIBLE around other people. The assume that just because i look the way i do, it means that i'm this talkative, flirty, extrovert. Sorry guys, it's all an act. Honestly, i think i'm happiest with my padded camroom, lighting setup, a couple bags of weed, and an occasional visit from one of my four friends in the world. Fuck all the rest
Sadiean, thanks for your response! I appreciate that My experience is not the standard, in the same way that you'll admit yours isn't either. We can only speak to what we know/experience individually and learn through the camgirls with whom we associate. I'm a misanthrope by nature, so I know that My opinion of people is already piss poor to begin with, but again, the views I shared are based on what I've been told and experienced on My own. Kudos to you for being differently adjusted, however Jazzy, the hermitage life is really appealing to me...when I get around people in real life, it's harrowing to endure, lol. I'm looking forward to moving someday so that I'm able to cam & socialize with less worry
I appreciate this article and hope some girls read it before getting in deep. All of the above is true of me except the drugs and alcohol part. I have never been a drinker and I love weed but since I quit smoking and started doing private shows full time I make more than three times what I made when I was spending money on weed all the time. Fortunately, I have a great boyfriend I love to fuck. Sometimes its more exciting when we're filming it though. I try to not do custom b/g videos because I want our sex to be just for us, but it feels like the sex is better when I know I can make sooo much selling the video. Just got to have boundaries and when I take a day off I need to keep it totally off. One trick I use is having a separate phone. I do sexting, get emails constantly, etc. but I keep one phone personal and the other phone is not on the network it only works on WiFi, so it is my work only phone and when I leave the house it stays home so I don't work when I'm off. This job is addicting, you have to set up boundaries and space from it somehow.
Many of your points hit home w me, Bella, but I don't liv a "hermitage life" but I try like hell to keep it private. I told one gf about my camming and unfortunately she told her bf. They split and the ex became a presence on my sites , (yea, I banned him but he kept coming back w a new ID) and of course he told his friends about me.....the bastard! I stopped camming for awhile then started w a new persona. My relatives and friends would be v judgmental about this work but I can't change the world! I now live in the shadows regarding camming, it is a 2nd job for me and hope for the best. I do envy girls that can just put everything out but I can't ......so I just try to be v cautious.
I understand some of these points as well, good to not feel alone in this boat. I hate when I know I have errands to run but I feel like I need to downgrade the makeup and then change clothes completely. I have to schedule my errands around others and when they can by a show with me. And the alcohol bit is me, even though it's not healthy, Ive been know to pour a drink or two just to get in the right frame of mind to get on cam. I dont do it regularly but when its been a tough week, I reach for a couple margs, even in the morning. lol It's 5'oclock somewhere right? Socializing can be hard sometimes when you cam regularly. I mean if I cam for say 3 hours and I have decent traffic and a lot of conversing, I dont feel like conversing after that. So even though I feel bad for it, not only do I ignore calls from friends surring cam time, but even after because I just have no more to give. Sorry, I know this reply is way too long. But can totally sympathize.
Haha going to the store is like going to Mordor!! lol Yes this is true for me many days. I actually spend more money on getting food delivered just so I can skip this task all together. Also this " Sex for free often becomes really unappealing" For me since I'm single and also since I started camming free meaningless sex isn't even an option. It just serves no purpose for me to have meaningless sex that can easily last all of 1.5812 mins, require sheet changing, Plan B, birth control, condoms, extra obgyn visits and then of course playing the game of chance in hopes I'll be able to obtain an orgasm.Let's not forget that if birth control fails then more problems would surface. Sex is far too expensive for me and the pros never out-weight the cons. Way too much work. So I'm at almost 3.5 years no sex at all. Yah! I just cam and love having my orgasms without all of the possible ways things can go wrong. No stds worries, no bc, no condoms, no yeast infections from the accidental slip out + hit the back door+ back in the front door, not laying in the wet spot, not having the 30 second wonder etc. Just cam fun +$$$= Win! I always get the guy that takes me private and begins to push for me to escort and I'm thinking huh ??? wtf are you smoking?? That's like telling someone in wheelchair to tryout for the Olympics as a distance runner. There were times on cam I used to give guys are hard time for doing short privates. Haa like umm I didn't cum !! lol Then I thought ooh wait I got paid yah!! Now I'm like minute me cum on in!
Thank you so so much for this Bella! I am currently going through everything you have noted above. It's gotten so bad that I've actually considered quitting, but unfortunately with the job market being what it is here I have no choice but to cam for the time being I think the worst is I am married and cannot stand the idea of having sex. I've actually found myself being disgusted by my husbands advances and it's really taking a toll. One thing I have done which seems to be helping is I started an EXTREAMELY part-time job. Just getting beyond these four walls and not having to cater to every perverted whim for a few days a week really seems to be doing the trick! I really wish I could be more Dom... definitely think you girls know how to deal with the assholes we come across better than us quite introverted girls! Maybe I should start working on a Dom alter-ego!
I'm really surprised by this article and the reactions to it.. In a negative, sad way I don't feel any different about having sex with my/a boyfriend and I never drink any alcohol or smoke any weed. But that could be because I wasn't doing that in the first place (except some alcohol like twice a year or something). The other stuff.. Well I'm a computer nerd/game geek, so I never really get out much in the first place :')
I started cam modeling about a year ago.. i was enticed by the thought of making a lot of money while working from home, giving myself some freedom(or so i thought). I had a long drive to my regular job and often thought i would die on the highway. So i dove in on a part-time basis, and i enjoyed it, because i enjoyed sex very much. I loved that i was meeting people from all over the world. But then i went full time and i think that to be a big mistake on my part. I now find myself cam modeling less and less and hating it more and more. I used to love, love, love sex, but not it is if i can not feel much. I am tired of the free ones there, tired of the same ole shit said to me... like " i love your fat ass". Ass bb, tits bb, blah blah blah. I do not even enjoy watching porn like i used to. I drink to perform, and now overweight would love to lose weight but i drink to perform so i drink... I look for other means of income but the lure of just signing online is strong. Then there is the matter of having a spouse, i need to contribute money wise and when i talk about my feelings of cam modeling it is listened to but i do not think really heard. I would caution anyone entering this job to really think long and hard about it!!! It will for sure change you in more ways than you can begin to fathom!
You hit the nail on the head with alot of the points you made.Its crazy and also comforting to hear how other cam girls go through the exact same thing.
I had a hard time getting past point number 2 . this is not me at all never has been I have been caming on and off for 10 years had a very full social life when I want one. Family as much as I do not get a long with them or they don't approve of my lifestyle I still make sure I am at family functions I want to attend. Also there are soo many things going in my city that I can enjoy even if I am doing them by myself, plus there was a time I had a vanilla job outside the house or I had school. one time in my English class I work about my secret life as a camgirl and we were suppose to give it to another classmate to proof read and they were shocked I wrote something that like once they got over the shock and realized I was serious I was able to recruit a cam model. I also connected with a local sex workers rights group where I have a place to vent about work and learn new things in the sex industry. So no I do not fit anything in your article at all in fact I am a little offended by it.