To the Members of the WebCam Industry:
I got this letter and I just wanted to share it with you:
Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is David Billings. My main account is Virgil68 on LiveJasmin. I am writing to you today out of an overwhelming sense of gratitude to a member of your industry. You see, she helped save my life.
I completely understand this isn’t the function of your industry; I’m not suggesting that. I respect you for what you are. I simply wish to tell you about a way in which a member of your industry transcended the basic fabric of what you do and made it so much more. I don’t know that you get to hear from members about these things very often. I just felt that it was important that I tell you this story.
Many of us who patronize your business do so for reasons beyond simple titillation. In my case, chronic illness and pain keeps me very isolated, so, as much as I was looking for a beautiful lady to interact with, I was looking for much more. I was looking for human connection. Such connection is not required of any performer. It requires a degree of vulnerability that is challenging for performers, so I don’t ever blame them if they choose not to communicate. However, I did find myself gravitating toward models that were willing to talk and interact, even in free chat.
And that’s where I met the star of my tale, a remarkable lady who I am proud to call friend, Ophelia Marcus. You probably know her better as LittleRedBunny. She entered my life as I was struggling with a recurrent infection that came back over 30 times over the course of eight years. It had started making me septic and had also started to come dangerously close to killing me. I was quite close to giving up.
Ophelia accepted me without judgement or reservation. She invited me into her fold of regular fans- people I also proudly call friends. She didn’t beg for tips or privates. She didn’t simply “tease” in freechat. She genuinely interacted with everyone. She remembered names, birthdays, personal problems people were struggling with, and details about the joys in the lives of her members. I was quite skeptical at first as I had been burned in the past by thinking I had found connection with a model; however, she stayed consistent for years. Slowly, I started to reach out and interact with her myself.
I started tipping to share music with her. I started having private sessions with her as I could. They weren’t about a sex show. They were mostly about slowly opening up to her, and she never insisted on the sessions being about sex. She allowed me to come to her like a maiden summoning a unicorn. I figuratively laid my head in her lap, and a strange thing happened. I started to remember what I cherished about life.
With several shaky starts, I started to actively get healthy- losing weight and finding ways to stop the infections. It’s been rough, and I have a long way to go, but I have been infection free for over two years now. My optimism about my health is higher than it has been since I was in my 20’s. Just this year alone, I have lost 100 pounds and am slated to have a life-saving surgery within the next two months.
Of course, I had to do this on my own. I had to make the decisions and stick with them. I had to struggle through the discouraging times. Nevertheless, Ophelia remained a true friend through all of this- encouraging, cheerleading, celebrating, and even sharing an occasional tear. I am profoundly grateful to her little red self as she contains a Tremendous Red Heart under those delectable freckles and red mane. I would be foolish not to acknowledge how much she has helped me.
For you, she is your Red Queen- a figure who redefined your industry. For me, she is a goddess in training- a healer of great potential. More than that, she has become a true friend- a friend who, yes, I tip and talk to in private sessions when I can. She’s an industry treasure, but, more than that, she is also a shining example of how a performer can connect with her member with amazing success. She’s made her members curious about your industry, and her members in greater numbers are paying closer and closer attention to what is going on with the business.
This leads me to a concern that is central to this whole narrative. I begin to see shifts in the industry that bother me on a gut level. I see some performers taking a cynical and callous attitude toward the members, and I see people running studios and platforms fostering these attitudes- raising them up and elevating them. I see some prominent performers, who sincerely seem to hate performing, encouraging the control and manipulation of members. This will backfire horribly if it is implemented in any widespread capacity.
I watched Ophelia attempt to counter this trend with her Little Red Academy- an idea that then was gleefully pilfered by many others with little to no credit given to the person that came up with it in the first place. Hers was a grand idea- show performers how to relax, connect, feel comfortable, etc. It was about empowering the performers, to give them confidence. It’s all about increasing their success and comfort. In turn, it would create a better environment for us members. In turn, the performer is even more successful. It’s a pity Jasmin hasn’t created a performer relations department and placed her at its head- their loss.
To come full circle, I believe most members come to your sites seeking some connection, and I think her approach is the key. She easily deserves any awards offered for a model who is also a best friend. I credit her as being a large factor in saving my life, and, right now, she’s the only reason I continue to support your business. Cherish her, for, when she’s gone, you will never find another like her. Better yet, let her set the tome for your business moving into the future. Thank you for reading my perspective, and I hope it lets you peer into the perspective of many of your members.
I am submitting this for publication. I really want as many people in the industry to see it as possible. You should all know that you are appreciated on more levels than you realize.
Sincerely,
David M. Billings
Comments (18)
This is everything! I couldn't agree more. This industry became so rewarding for me when I embraced what I am good at, and that is connecting with the people who gravitate towards me for whatever reason. I have learned that it's almost NEVER just about sex (and for those that it is, I usually recommend they find another model.) Thank you for sharing this story. It reminds me why I love doing this so much.
1 October 2018 - 12:43I have so much to say about this I don't even know where to begin.
1 October 2018 - 15:20I'm speechless
I hadn't checked her for a while. Is she having slow pay periods too or what?
1 October 2018 - 18:47This is great to see
((cat
1 October 2018 - 19:00SO NICE
1 October 2018 - 22:17Beautifully said!
2 October 2018 - 4:20I wish this mail would be sent to all camsites and studios, maybe they would start to understand what camming is really about... human connection
I know what he is talking about. Before I first went on cam for the first time almost 7 year ago, I was browsing various models rooms on different sites and hers was one that I got hooked on. I could watch her for hours just interacting with the room. I am not the least bit surprised that she has reached the level of success that she has, she really stands out from the crowd, not just sexy and entising, but she seems like such a lovely and caring person as well. Definitely one of my rolemodels in this industry.
2 October 2018 - 5:51I love this, thank you for sharing. I also love the vulnerability of the author in sharing their story. I ALSO ALSO love the comments here from other models talking about how they know that connection is the key to camming beyond just sex and physical action. It's a unique way to reach people in real time, make them feel alive, and continually create new experiences with people, in a humane way. We can keep others company, we can show others compassion where they least expect it. As cam models we encounter people who want connection, or else they could watch pre-recorded porn. I hope connection, empathy, relationship building, and overall respect and the end of objectification in the camming industry comes soon. I also agree that the sites that have community aspects will outlast the ones that don't in the long run. It feels empty to work for a site that doesn't try to make it feel like a work family, or a place where you're more than just a username. Sorry, I just love this article and have a lot to say lol.
2 October 2018 - 19:13I also am a member on Jasmin and I have had the pleasure of knowing LittleRedBunny as well for many years. David eloquently captures how many of her admirers and members feel about her. She has helped the industry in ways that many may not know of. Five years ago she won the first of many awards, the Sex Awards and then a few months later the Best Camgirl at AVN. During AVN, there was a “mainstream” article written essentially slandering camgirls and the webcam industry with stereotypical comments about the performers. She pursued this author and got an article written by that same author setting the record straight and explaining that camming was not just about “wham bam thank you mam” sex. It was just the first of many articles from her explaining the cam industry in general and showing how relationships are important and can be developed by talking in “free” chat or in private. Ophelia truly cares about members, the reputation of the performers, and the industry as a whole.
3 October 2018 - 0:33I actually became interested in the industry and agree with David’s concern. There are self-proclaimed experts now that seek to paint members as bums and should be talked to only if they private. It is true, in life there are many bums, but if that is your approach you will attract even more of them. Other experts claim that the industry is completely exploitive of women and they are forced to perform ' basically what that original author said about the industry after AVN. I understand some may feel that economically they have to cam, but I think for most it is a choice made seeing it as an good opportunity. I also understand that there has been an explosion in sites and many people think they merely have to get a website and the cash will flow in. That is not true and many will close, but for now it unfortunately puts a lot of pressure on the performers. I read all the comments and as several of you said it truly is a special way to interact with people. You do actually have the ability to help many of us through difficult times just by talking. That is Ophelia’s philosophy and always has been since the beginning of her career. I am grateful that this industry does exist and I was able to find someone like Ophelia to connect with.
What an inspiring , genuine and motivating article. So wonderful that David shared his perspective and you can see that Ophelia was a blessing in his life as well as hers.
5 October 2018 - 16:29I have had similar experiences as a cam model. I had a burn victim come in my room on the daily, and told me he could never talk to a beautiful woman in person because they would not be able to look at him as the person he is. He felt they probably wouldn’t look at him at all and if they did they would hurry and look away. We had spoke for about 6 months before he told me he was a burn victim, and another 6 months before he opened his camera. It’s amazing how many cam models touch peoples lives without using sexuality. I wish everyone could see this. I love being a cam model! I love all of my fellow cam models, we are truly the only ones who understand who we are and why we do what we do. Sure most of the time we are fulfilling a sexual fantasy, and that’s okay too! You never know who’s on the other side of the computer or why he chose us to fulfill it. It might be deeper than just sex. Thank you to all the cam models that GET IT! Thanks for sharing this article!
5 October 2018 - 20:02This was a great article. It shows that there are more to the live cam industry than just sex. This is the kind of feedback that will help to change the stigma that surrounds our industry. It definitely is about basic need for human connection for a lot people. Ophelia Marcus is a great role model for the live cam community.
12 October 2018 - 11:43Thank you so much for all your words David. This is touching me so deep to the heart. To have the opportunity to meet you in the first place, through this medium, and then to be able to have any positive influence in someone’s life is so invaluable, and not something that everybody can have the chance to do. This is more gratifying than anything and one of the reasons I love and cherish so much what I do and all the people I meet. This experience is making me grow as well and given me much as well, more than I could ever say. Reading you speaking from the heart beats any explanation I could’ve try to share with others to make them understand how rich the encounters we get to have online can be. And for you to be willing to share something so personal is so generous of you and I have so much respect for you. The member’s side of the experience is rarely exposed, and I see it is much appreciated by more than just myself.
14 October 2018 - 6:52I’m also so pleased to see all of you, other cam models, that could relate to this. I know many of us got to share such experiences since we all started, and happy you took the time to read and to write such comments as well. Keep embracing what we can truly be through our medium, with all the levels of connection and communication we can have while simply being ourselves.
Thank you again David, from the bottom of my heart. Stay awesome and keep climbing up this mountain, you will soon be on the other side of it and I will be there going along with you the whole way! Muah!
I want to thank as well all of you, msNiko, DivaTraffic, that said nice words about me. Such words and compliments, from my own peers in the industry are more than just flattering. It means so much to me. I never expected to get such appreciation and respect. You are all too nice and million thanks again, from the deepest of my heart.
14 October 2018 - 8:03I love all the stories shared, I think we might not get to share this side of what we do all that much. Great thing we have WeCamGirls to be able to exchange this way.
Also Flatter, thank you for such an insightful comment, and of course all the nice compliments too. Also very happy I got to meet you, and for this long. I did try to enlighten media and the people in mainstream about our industry. It has always been so important to me, and it's still a work in progress, yet it is progressing I believe and it makes me very happy. I do love that you, along other members also got interested in the industry as a whole, being just enjoying the company of a cam model. It is a community, and you are part of it. I hope we get to hear your voices more often too!
This is how I conduct my self. I have no time nor desire to be fake. I care for each customer I receive and I often refuse custom orders if I do not have some kind of connection.
19 October 2018 - 5:01There are so many lonely people out there that we as cam girls can empower to be or become the person they need to be by respecting them and treating them that way. We are all therapists in our own way to those coming to visit us. To be caring and understanding sometimes makes the difference.
from a bright sunny South Africa
26 October 2018 - 12:24My LittleRedBunny be the way to go for all of us. I salute you LittleRedBun. Please tell David that he is already an over comer - press forward brave soldier.
This is what happens when you take the sex out of the business...Miracles
29 October 2018 - 2:06Damn that was a wonderful letter and reminds me why I love this work. When I’m on cam, I try to connect to everyone and am often humbled at how much respect and trust I get from viewers (there are a LOT of straights in the closet that don’t have people to talk to about their feelings). it is a job and I can’t do it for free, but for me the community of fans, like David, are what keeps me here.
12 December 2018 - 6:00Btw, LitteRedBunny, I’ve always admired your approach and so glad to see fans like David writing about how you’ve impacted them!