It was only when I took a good look at the pattern of my camshows over weeks, months, and now years, that I realized just how fetish based most of them are! When I first started out as a camgirl I thought it would be all nude stripping, dancing, dirty talk, with maybe a little foot fetish thrown in for good measure. I know I've spoken about this elsewhere, but it honestly amazes and delights me every day, how interesting my webcam interactions are Smiley :D

So from now on I'm going to be doing a regular 'fetish spot' on my blog where I talk about specific fetishes that I get asked about most often. The main one of which is of course, jerk off instruction, or JOI, masturbation instruction, guided masturbation etc, whatever you want to call it...

The first time I encountered this particularly engrossing fetish was early on in my camgirl career, probably March or April of 2011. I was all dressed up in my vintage nylons, suspender belt, sexy bra and panties etc, with toys at the ready, when a rather good looking gent I was cam to camming with surprised me with an usual request. "Tell me how to do it" he demanded; perplexed I asked him what he meant. "I want you to instruct me on how to wank.... please" (he was very polite!). So ensued a 45 minute session whereby I described in minute detail, everything I wanted to see him do in order to bring himself to orgasm.

When he'd gone the biggest grin spread across my face. For the first time since I started camming i felt fulfilled. Although I hadn't personally cum, it didn't matter. the experience of pleasuring someone remotely, with just my voice, using my imagination to create and enact the erotic scenario, and using his own cues (tone of voice, trigger words, body language etc) to increase the intensity, was so....intimate. I felt powerful, sexy, sensual, and so incredibly turned on, It was like a drug and that was me hooked!

Some girls talk about JOI like it's just something ordinary, a 5 or 10 minute scripted session with specific keywords designed to be 'sexy', maybe with a countdown to orgasm thrown in at the end. But I think this approach completely misses the point. Anyone can talk dirty (they can right??), anyone can tell someone what to do, but just what is it that makes a live webcam show or fetish phone chat really, truly erotic? Connection! It is the je-ne-sais-quoi that takes sexy to a new level. When you have connection it can make you both feel as though you are together, there in the moment, that your words are quite literally stroking each other... like a fingertip tantalizingly trailed across your lower lip.

So what is the secret to obtaining this connection, of making jerk off instruction more than simply 'instruction'? It is engagement. when I have a guy ask me for guided masturbation I imagine i am there next to him, I think of the things I would do to make him feel good, I feel like we are together and act accordingly. I adore giving sloppy blowjobs for example, because of the reaction I get looking up at him with my big brown eyes, my long hair falling down over his skin, as my soft lips caress his throbbing shaft. So I might ask him to use some lube, drizzle it over the end of his cock and stroke a single finger up and down his length. I ask him to imagine that's the tip of my tongue, teasingly lapping up his precum.. ask him how it feels, does he like it when a girl wraps her soft lips around him? Yes? Then have him encircle the end of his dick with thumb and forefinger and slowly push back the foreskin etc. I could go on but perhaps you ought to come and visit me on cam if you like the sound of all this? haha.

I don't mean this to sound like a 'do as I do' or like some kind of instruction manual. Every person is different, some like the slow, sensual drawn out scenarios, while others prefer a more dominant, demanding approach. Some too, actually prefer the 'scripted' sort of sessions i described a couple of paragraphs back. The key is to engage, to be IN the moment. I might be 'instructing' someone how to wank, but that doesn't mean I am passive. Quite the contrary. I want to experience the moment, whether it is 5 minutes, or over an hour. Some of my JOI sessions have in fact lasted over 12 hours! When combined with edging, mutual masturbation, tease and denial, other fetishes like cuckold, role-play etc, it isn't just masturbation anymore, it is pure, blissful, erotica.

Powerful stuff! Smiley :D

Katie xxx

KatieEvers.com Twitter

Author

xkatiebabyx

Comments

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kp24 Experienced
March 17, 2015 - 16:44

Thanks so much for this thread Katie! I've recently gotten into camming and this was one of the requests that confused me too- I had no idea how to start! I'm sure with practice I will get better. -Kat

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xkatiebabyx Expert
March 17, 2015 - 16:46

You;re welcome kp. I'm working on a followup article with some more practical tips x

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GoddessG Graduate
March 18, 2015 - 7:18

JOI is by far My biggest request and many times coupled with CEI. I definitely agree, it's all about connection. There is something magical about being able to guide someone with your voice and using imagery...getting them exactly where you want them to be...climax!

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priscillaluv Expert
March 18, 2015 - 22:00

Great article thank you very much!

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mishanox Experienced
March 19, 2015 - 16:54

Great article - I look forward to your future ones.

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LolaBohemia Graduate
March 20, 2015 - 10:09

tbh, I thumbs upped this before completely reading it. All of my shows are fetish related. I simply cannot do vanilla shows and to a degree, I think a small percentage of the camshows online are actually just plain vanilla. With a one on one encounter, the personalization aspect leads to quirks and idiosyncrasies unique to the viewer. Only the viewer knows if it's a fetish but it certainly separates the session from the norm. I'd be down for commentary on the more obscure or possibly "dark" fetish play encounters. I've had a guy ask for "SVH". At first I thought it was a typo for SPH but no...he wanted small vegetable humiliation. .... "AND I BET YOU AREN'T EVEN ORGANIC! YOU PLEASE NO SALAD!" I about lost it.

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anyak Hotshot
March 22, 2015 - 21:44

I hope to see your JOI tips soon, Katie! I'm new to this and I am sometimes at loss for words. Thanks a million.xx

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AriaFoxxx Novice
March 24, 2015 - 4:50

Thank you for this!! This is by far one of my biggest requests. Now I know a good place to start. Smiley (cool)

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Freeplaycams Ninja
March 24, 2015 - 16:49

Great read katie! Very interesting to hear your perspective on this. Im sure this would be great to engage many visitors and lead to a private or longer privates. Curious if you could post or message me your blog, I would like to follow it and maybe even repost some of your blog posts in the future. Thanks!

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xkatiebabyx Expert
March 24, 2015 - 21:06

Freeplay cams it is

. Thank you for your comments Smiley :D

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camorbits Wizard
March 28, 2015 - 1:24

So this may have revolutionized my approach to JOI Smiley :D I had never heard of this before I started camming, and my first experience of it was with a customer wearing a chastity belt (I had never seen one of those before either haha!). Since then I basically figured out a 5 minute script type session for those requests, and that was it. I have a hard time with improvising. This article was actually really encouraging for me to read, for some reason. It helps to hear how others respond to similar requests. I think I just might "do as you do" lol. Also, LolaBohem your SVH comment seriously cracked me up. Smiley :P

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xkatiebabyx Expert
March 28, 2015 - 4:56

Hey if anyone is having difficulties with improvisation or coming up with ideas, Literotica.com is an invaluable resource. I also watch as many free youtube vids as I can, and have also bought content from girls i think are particularly great and who i know make a ton of money in their niche. It's like any form of learning, you have to do the research first then practise, practise, practise, and keep researching to keep your show or videos fresh x

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copyeditor16 Rookie
March 28, 2015 - 19:57

Thank you so much for this article! I swear that when I started camming, I had to have Urban Dictionary up in another browser tab just so I could figure out what these acronyms were. CEI has been easier for me to deal with than JOI -- I guess with JOI I was just thinking, "Seriously, why do you need me to tell you how to wank your wiener? You should be a champ at this by now." But yeah, after reading your article, I can totally see how he wants to be guided, by an interested, involved participant, rather than just a "Hey dude, just go up and down a bunch, mmmkay?" P.S. Our local bank has on the wall a customer service plaque that is called the "CEI All-Star Award," and seeing it makes me giggle uncontrollably every time I go in there to deposit my cam check. I half expect to see my name on there some day... -- Veronica

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xkatiebabyx Expert
March 29, 2015 - 0:44

Hahahahaha Veronica, i get moments like that all the time! Warped little minds we have Smiley ;)

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busymantm Wizard
April 8, 2015 - 13:06

Nice job on the article! You're spot-on that personal engagement/intimacy/connection makes a huge difference and can make for very loyal fans vs just another private sale. literotica.com is a great idea for doing research on ideas!

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skagle1970 OG
April 19, 2015 - 17:01

Great article and great inside. Lots of guys like to be told what to do by a camgirl, it's an intimate connection for them. And the more interested you sound, the more engaged they become. Awesome post.

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BabyDollRose Rookie
April 30, 2015 - 17:15

Thank you! I've been curious about how to go about starting one of these. I've been thinking about making a JOI for a while I just didn't know how to go about it. Thanks for the inspiration :3

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ShanaStorm Jedi
May 17, 2015 - 5:03

Great article....I think some girls make the mistake of treating every request the same, JOI as well as others. You hit it......engagement and voice......think of our own personal sex lives.....engagement and voice are so imperative! In this biz, it's so easy to act like a robot and do many of our clients treat us that way! I would also add the importance of listening. Many of my shows, now, are just that....

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SeanWest Novice
May 21, 2015 - 1:11

" Anyone can talk dirty (they can right??)..." Hahaha XD Fantastic article, thank you! I'm new here where exactly is your blog? Straight here in the articles section? If you were willing I'm interested as well in if you would mind messaging your blog, if not that's fine Smiley :) Again many thanks

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